In the lives of each Christian believer when we pray for any good thing ....even those things which God's Holy Written Word promises we always must wait upon the Lord...
In HIS perfect timing that does not always feel like ours.
And when God blesses HE adds no sorrow.
In these last few days my brother whom God did not restore to me & my husband after many years of separation after I believed my father's intimidation when he said: "And don't be bothering your brother or Lisa...they are just as sick and tired of you & your loser husband as us and the rest of the family" I believed my father and never called my brother and sister in law during my husband's first battle with Agent Orange GIST tumor. I cut off the entire family then after having only called them for a first time since cutting them all off following the 911 bombing attacks on The United States September 11, 2001 which brought back the Vietnam War for a period in my husband.
William and I were trying to buy a house of our own. A place where it would be far easier to be healthier in a residential middle class neighborhood for our first time in almost 17 years of marriage....Both homes we had a mortgage on...our own which we lived in during different time periods were in drug infested hostile neighborhoods.
This will...I say will...because even though we were not able to qualify for this on our own...and although my brother offered to buy it and rent it to us until we could get credit scores up and buy it on our own...
We will not settle for less than God's best.
We will not pay rent under terms of control of anyone.... particularly not place ourselves under the same bondage God released me from on May 30, 1997 when William Gustavson took me as his bride & wife forever.
This would not be receiving God's best even if the very house God has planned, set aside for William & I to make us prosper there...
For When God Blesses HE adds no sorrow and so William & I have found still another temporary residence as we not accept the devils offer of less than God's best: A home that not only meets all of our needs...but is infinitely better than we could ask think dream or imagine that will be received paid for in full without any strings attached like on a kite that flies high in the air controlling direction and inhibiting or limiting the heights it can climb....
I wrote my brother a very long letter because he is my biological brother and I will always love my parents and both of my brothers, nephews....my son our grandchildren and sister in law...but we will never give them or anyone position of authoritative power or control over us...for this is not love but cohesion....I explained that I will never place myself & my husband in the position that we must again be the brunt of my father's coarse harshness nor his self-righteous attitudes that stem from the fact he still today holds his mother...my grandmother and God mother Josephine accountable in her grave for having left him & his sister Joan Carroll Cruz...as she sought to free herself and her children of her alcoholic abusing husband their father.... Big Dan Senior.
See I look exactly like Josephine and it was not until shortly after William & I married my mother said to me when I was telling her about another...most recent at that time...explosion of my father knocking me in my face in anger....
She said: Stephanie it is a shame you cannot remember when you were very small your father was very tender to you. It was when you started looking like a woman he changed." "What does that mean Momma...was I supposed to stay his baby doll forever and not grow up?" She replied and actually began crying as she said: "Don't you get it? When he hits you..he hits his mother Josephine who left him....you look just like Josephine.!"
My father also does not like reminiscing about any places he brought me or me with my brothers and mother because when a man lives 60 years with compounded unconfessed, unforgiven, unabsolved sin....he remembers not just the good parts of memories...but he remembers that he never once in my life time ever was with me that he did not hurt me in some way...
Whether with unexpected anger he could not or would not control...or harsh critical cold words...he like anyone else who suffers from swallowing lies of the devil that have kept them out of the sacramental confessional for years to a life time....
They become a chronic liar to hide their previous sins.
So why would William & I accept a home under these kinds of terms to be forced into relationship within such a family that condones such behavior and manipulates with money.
When one gives when one loves it must be freely given and freely received...not expecting anything more than love returned.
So I explained these spiritual truths to my brother in a letter directly telling him no thank you...we will not accept his offer because we will wait upon our Lord a little longer.
God will give us what HE has promised with no strings attached.
We have taken again temporary shelter which I told my brother as I tell all now...if my father or mother or even now my brother seek to track me...us down again....like after my William told my father in 2012 where we were then living thinking he had mellowed enough in old age that we no longer need to hide as much from him....My father's words spoken with hostility in his voice were: "SO THAT'S WHERE YOU'VE BEEN HIDING HER!" My father is a Korean War Veteran and was on the Battleship Iowa.
Just as all Military Servicemen...whether they enlisted or were drafted if they had any physical or mental defects whether a curved spine, flat feet Bipolar illness...prostrate problems....mental illness of any kind they were not accepted into whatever branch of the military that they were applying or were being drafted into.
And so my father could not have had his Bipolar problem of inflaming quickly without anyone knowing what bothered him...before he entered the United States Navy or later the Merchant Marines. And this is the key piece of knowledge for any descendant of a former military soldier, airman....or sailor...Do not assume that you were not exposed to harmful permanent sickness causing agents because you never saw with your eyes Agent Orange Smoke or never saw or handled with your own hands knowingly hazardous materials.
Our Government has lied to all American Citizens dating back long before any humans alive today were born. It is called: "POLITICS."
Never settle for less than God's best as William & I also sent the Realtors involved an electronic letter...short note telling them to place back on the open market....it has been for sale over two years....so when God opens the heavens as promised do not be surprised if we walk into your office....one day maybe next month...with a cashiers check for the full amount we had offered drawn on our own money.
God makes a way where there is no way...but we must be careful to recognize the offer from God's enemy that will always come very soon before God's abundant promise to me and to you....
One last ditch effort to prevent God's obedient ones from enjoying God's best for them.
So pray with me....let us pray for each other sisters and brothers...that each of us recognize as we did this time....when an offer is God's promise twisted....and tied up with strings....not favorite things...but strings that bind and cause pain, agony and sorrow...
Let us never borrow even from a "Blood Relative" or brother... For as scripture says: "The borrower is always a slave to the lender."
Wait just a little while longer in HIM with HIM and Through HIM....for HIS better and best part as we are!
Amen Amen Amen and Alleluia!
EstherStephanada!
Mr & Mrs William Gustavson
PO BOX 1175
Madisonville, LA 70447
USA
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